I know I’ve been posting a lot of brunettes lately. So here’s a hot, big titty blonde for once. Those are some glorious fuckin boobs. Thank you, citizens of Tumblr!

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

I love how a man always assumes that a woman’s fantasy always has another girl in it. Even my fucking boyfriend assumes that if and when we’re gonna have a threesome – it basically means me, him and another girl.

Well, did it ever occur to you that a woman’s fantasy might involve 2 guys instead?

Oh my bad, it’s always about YOU and what YOU want, isn’t it? You must be thinking: fuck what a girl wants. It’s all about ME.

Perhaps you don’t know women as much as you think you do…

To be honest I’d rather masturbate, play out MY own fantasies, CUM GOOD and CUM HARD than get pounded mediocrely in real life and not cum at all. But hey, that’s just me.

Did you know that most women don’t even have an orgasm during sex? Sure we get turned on and we definitely get wet, but it’s not the same as coming. Guys have a happy ending, women do not.

And just because you’re attractive and have a big dick, doesn’t always mean the sex is guaranteed to be amazing.

This opens up a window of opportunity for guys who don’t think they’re that good looking. If you and I are having phone sex and you’re smart, funny, sexy and engaging me a certain way…AND you have a sexy fucking voice to top it off…

then I might feel a certain way about you when our session is done, regardless of how you look.

Do you see where this is going? Fantasies are the real deal. You could be ugly as fuck in real life (same goes with phone sex operators haha) but your voice and personality might be really sexy and irresistable. Looks aren’t always everything.

Annnnd I lost track as to the point of this blog post.

Just kidding, I remember now: I sooo want to get banged by two dudes. In real life.

So if you think you’re open-minded enough to share me with another guy…or maybe you’re a shapeshifting humanoid alien who can produce another dick from your body to satisfy me?

Call 1-800-ASK-4SEX

Hi. It’s been a fucking minute, hasn’t it? I haven’t posted here because I’ve actually run out of things to say, to be honest. I think I’m even a little burnt out by phone sex and I’m sick of looking at porn too. I need a permanent vacation, or better yet…I need to get seriously far away from this world. I wish to be abducted by aliens and never return to this shitty planet.👽

So I’m just gonna do what everyone else does on the internet: steal pictures from Tumblr and post them here.

So. Wanna fuck me on the phone?

Call 1-800-BIG-TITS

I know how much you guys love it so here’s another gem I found on Tumblr. You’re welcome!

Call 800-779-BLOW

You guys, this song is FIRE!! This hot new song is by (Khia, remember her?) and TS Madison – ex pornstar, entertainer, entrepreneur.

I just had to post it because I’m hooked and I think she’s beautiful and funny as fuck.

And here’s a picture of her big ass dick! See my other blog post about this Big Dick Bitch! ;)

You like transsexual women? Then click the number below to get your hot phone sex fantasy started!

Call 1-888-WET-TSTV

Warning: you are about to read something very erotic and also blasphemous. If this offends you, well then tough luck. I’m feeling dark today.

Besides, who hasn’t envisioned a nun having sex with the devil? Reading this made me all tingly inside…

I’m so confused right now, I’m experiencing all kinds of feels. Remember that one time I talked about my slutty mom? Well guess what, that fucking cunt did it again!

I already knew she was a whore (I mean, she does sex work for a living), but being my mom and all – I didn’t think she would take it there! Would you? I thought she loved and cared about me, like a mother should! What is it with thirsty women – they always seem to want other people’s property?! Well I guess my mom wanted MY property – I thought my boyfriend would be stronger than that, but I guess my mom “seduced” him and whatnot. Gross.

Anyway it happened when I came home from work early one evening, unexpectedly. I wasn’t feeling so good so I asked if I could go home.

It was quiet in the house when I got there, I wasn’t sure if anyone was home. But then I started to hear a faint moaning coming from her bedroom, and I knew it was my mom. I figured it was one of her “virtual” clients whom she regularly fucks via webcam so I ignored it.

But then I started to hear someone else groan…someone much younger and it sounded like my boyfriend! I swear to God.

But still, I didn’t make my presence known. All kinds of thoughts were racing through my head and my heart was beating really fast. I was mad as hell but at the same time, I was also kinda curious. Curious because I’m a bigtime voyeur. Watching real people have sex is kind of a turn on for me. It may seem super gross to think about my mom and my boyfriend doing it – but actually, my mom is hot. I know this for a fact because everytime we go out, she gets ogled by guys and she gets hit on A LOT. It’s disgusting but it’s the truth, it’s been like this eversince I was a kid. My mom goes all out when she goes out – makeup, high heels, nails done, skintight jeans or a dress that shows off her figure with her tits popping out just enough that you HAVE to look. There was never a time when she wasn’t all dolled up – she even has makeup on when she goes to the gym! Seriously, WTF.

Anyway, so I stayed quiet as I could – slowly creeping up the carpeted stairs and tiptoeing on the hallway. The door was slightly open so I got to hear them do it. It was too risky to push the door so I could peek and have it creak on me, so I just listened. The room has a dim lamp but the hallway was dark so I couldn’t be seen. The sounds they were making sounded really good actually, enough to make me want to touch myself. Sounded like my mom was riding him on top and she was having a blast moaning and groaning with her massive tits out. I could even hear skin on skin action – like her cunt juices must’ve been dripping all over his hard dick as she rode him, her lips and asscheeks slapping against his balls. It probably got her really wet. My boyfriend has a nice dick afterall, even nicer when it’s rock hard.

I don’t know how long they were at it, but I know for a fact that my boyfriend doesn’t last very long, 10-15 minutes max. He’s gonna cum soon.

My mom is almost 40. I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 24. Not sure what to do at this point, but I think I’m not going to say anything for now. I’m gonna work this to my advantage. My revenge is going to be sooooo sweet…

After a few minutes of listening on them which felt like an eternity, I slowly backed out of there. I left the house, drove off and sat in my car for a bit, thinking about stuff. It was definitely a rush for me, so much that I shoved my hand down inside my panties and felt my own wetness.

This means I can get my fuck on too!!

Who will it be though…

Call: 800-455-CUMM

Dead! I love phone sex spoofs, especially when they’re really funny. This one had me rolling!!

Have I told you that I love talking shit to a dude, it makes my day. It gets my adrenaline pumping actually…

just saying! Sluts gotta have fun too ;)

Stumbled upon some really cool art! Check out Ulrik Bad Ass on Tumblr. This person highly emphasizes that the girls portrayed are 18 and over. It’s called fantasy art for a reason, so get a grip.

Got a thing for trans girls and want to roleplay right now?

Call 800-779-BLOW

I don’t mean to rub it in, I really don’t. But I know for a fact that winter is a shitty time to be alone. Depression, loneliness and other random (unhealthy) thoughts tend to kick in and it fucking sucks. It doesn’t help that it gets dark much quicker and it’s cold.

And for some strange reason, things always seem to fall apart right around the holidays – either someone dies, someone else has some really bad news, people in long term relationships break up or they cheat and everybody finds out. All kinds of uncomfortable situations tend to come out right on the dot when everyone is supposed to be all merry and cheerful and shit.

I know how you feel, I too have a hard time escaping from myself! The stuff I think about overwhelms me sometimes. It can be too much too bear…

Luckily, I can escape myself by pretending to be someone else for a bit. It really makes me feel good to be wanted by lots of strangers.

If you’re looking to escape from yourself too, then you know what to do. I’ll be waiting!

Call 888-ASK-4-PUSSY

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